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To Those Who’ve Been Damaged by Christians

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There are a lot of you out there who have been damaged by Christians and it has shaped your view of God. You have a negative opinion of Christians – and with good reason. I’m sorry that’s happened to you.

English: Broken Heart symbol

Truth is – the deepest wounds in my life have been inflicted by Christians. Not being negative. Just being real.

A Christian molested me and physically abused my mother when I was young. At various times, Christians have judged me, abandoned me, black-listed me, harshly persecuted me for my faith, defrauded my family, told horrible lies about me, let me down, broken my heart, and viewed me as competition.

In those times, I could have run. And sometimes I wanted to. I could have said, “If that’s what God’s like, I want nothing to do with Him.”

But I’ve learned something through the years.

  • Those people are not God.
  • People are imperfect. (Romans 3:10, 23)
  • God is different. It’s important not to confuse the two.
  • We’re called to put our faith in God not people. He’s the only one who’s qualified to have it.

I have spent lots and lots of time getting to know God for who He really is.

I’ve discovered:

  • His faithfulness when the world is fickle.
  • His presence with me – no matter what.
  • His compassion when pain rips my heart.
  • His love regardless of my holes, hurts, and regrets.
  • His goodness that nothing in this world parallels.
  • His power that removed my dead heart of stone and established a new heart in me that lives, breathes, and loves again.

God has proven himself to me personally just like he did in the stories of the Bible. It all corresponds.

“The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made.” Psalm 15:13

“The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.” Psalm 145:8-9

I am deeply committed, loyal to, and passionately in love with HIm because of who he is and what he’s done in my life.

So what about all those Christians causing damage?

  • Christ takes up residence in those who put their faith in Him.
  • His purpose is to plant his character in them so they are more like him.
  • Many Christians haven’t fully surrendered their hearts, souls, and minds to Him. They compartmentalize him only giving him access to portions of their lives. (Honestly, there was a time when I was like this.)
  • They don’t know his heart and don’t follow his teachings because they don’t study/apply the Bible to their lives.
  • Some may be trying to live by their own power (which is inadequate) – not his.

But there are Christians out there who are living differently. God’s love flowing freely through them to me – like a roaring river to my soul – has cupped my heart, comforted my soul, and encouraged me to press on. These people have selflessly stood by me and my family in moments of tremendous suffering. I see God’s character in them. That’s the way it’s meant to be.

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord . . .” 2 Corinthians 3:18

If you’ve rejected God because of how you’ve been treated by Christians – or because of how you’ve seen them treat other people . . . may I encourage you to give God a chance? Look past those Christians and their junk. Look for God Himself. Get to know who he really is and what he’s about.

If you do this and God grabs your heart in the process, then make it your mission to make things right . . . to give God free access . . . to live differently than so many who claim to be Christians. Now that would be a noble purpose! God’s looking for people like that.

Loaded question: What is your experience with Christians? Have you been damaged by them? How has it affected your relationship with God?

Love you all! It always warms my heart when you stop by!




  1. vieeTANG says:

    this was so insightful, thankyou for sharing this (:

  2. Kathy says:

    It takes great courage and strength to be able to share past wounds and hurts. Thank you for sharing and for detailing what you’ve learned. I’m sure that others with similar wounds will greatly benefit from your Godly wisdom =)

  3. Kathy Hoeck says:

    As usual you have once again written a priceless piece — filled with vulnerability, wisdom, insight, and hope. What a beautiful reminder that if we compare God to our human frailties, He will always come up short. Praise the Lord He will never compare to our inadequacies. I am writing a piece for a client and seek permission to quote your wonderul insight. Love you dear lady,Kathy Hoeck

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