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Raising Boys to Manhood – Real Men Lead Courageously

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I’ve noticed something lately. There’s a vacuum of great leadership in our culture.

Single Mommas (and parents in general), it’s more important than ever to be intentional about developing your son into a courageous leader. His courageous leadership will benefit his future home/family, business, church, and community.


Your son has so much potential. He needs to understand that:

  1. God has designed and destined him for leadership. Help him see himself as leadership material. (Genesis 1:26-30Genesis 2:15, 181 Corinthians 11:3)
  2. Authentic leadership will require him to have the courage to master his passions/emotions (self-control) and strengthen himself with Biblical principles.


From Robert Lewis’ book, Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father’s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood, . . . Manhood Principle #3 is this: 

A Real Man Leads Courageously

A courageous leader is not like Adam . . .

Adam was a passive leader. God had actually given Adam the instructions not to eat fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil before Eve was even created. (Genesis 2:16-18) He knew the drill. When Satan tempted Eve to eat the apple, Adam relinquished his leadership when he refused to reinforce God’s instructions and lead his wife away from temptation and disobedience. When he failed to lead her, he failed to protect her. Genesis 3:9-12

Many men today are failing to lead well – or even lead at all. They’re giving in to the feelings of the moment instead of aggressively leading with God’s truth. Honestly, I believe this is one of the predominant reasons our culture is crumbling on so many levels.

Jesus was a different kind of leader . . .

He went against the culture to stand for what was right and true. When he was led into a harsh desert environment for 40 days and consumed with hunger, thirst, and exhaustion, he did not give in to Satan’s temptation. His physical needs could easily have caused him to do so, but his will was resolute. He mastered his feelings and stood on scriptural principles. In a commanding cry of authentic leadership, he cried out, “Away from me, Satan!” Nowhere was mastery of his feelings more evident than when he hung on the cross in agony. He had the power to escape, but he chose not to.

Read James 4:7 and Romans 12:1-2 together.

  1. Talk to your son about ways he can draw near to God the Father – because God will equip your son for leadership. (Knowing God’s heart by studying the Bible, meditating on scripture, enjoying God’s presence through prayer, listening to worship music, spending time in His creation outdoors, going to church, serving the poor, going on a mission trip . . .)
  2. Ask your son if he can think of a time when he allowed his feelings and emotions get the best of him. What were the results?
  3. Talk with your son about times when it would be appropriate for him to commandingly say, “Away from me Satan.” Discuss how he can resist the devil. (i.e., Walking away from situations where peers are getting caught up in the moment and doing stupid things, etc.)

Leadership does not give anyone license to abuse power and authority for personal benefit or domination. A great leader is a servant.

Read John 13:1-14 and/or Philippians 2:3-11. Talk to your son about the qualities of a servant leader.

  • They work in the best interests of others.
  • They shepherd, defend, guide, protect, and serve.

Finish by asking your son to think of some men who lead (or led) courageously. (i.e., William Wallace, Abraham Lincoln, William Wilberforce, Martin Luther King, King David, Joshua of the Bible, Abraham, Noah, Moses, etc.) How did their leadership impact those around them?

Keep pointing your son to Jesus as his example – and for the empowerment necessary to lead courageously.

If you want to check out other posts in this series, click this link:

Single Moms – Raising Boys to Manhood

You can do this Momma . . . Keep pressing on. Your boys are worth fighting for.



  1. Carey says:

    Great post (once again) Lisa… I love the ideas you are highlighting here. My wife and I recently had a conversation with our 13 year old son… telling him (among other things) that he’s moving into the stages that will build him as a man. That the teen years are not silly, non-serious, fun-loving years only – but years of preparation… for manhood. I particularly stressed to him that the years of his mother “serving” him in many ways are drawing to a close, and that now he needs to begin making the switch to being a servant to her and his sisters. It seems to have had a strong impact on him… because he’s seeing his life as being about more than legos and movies and self-indulgence, but rather about serving others for the glory of God, in a way that enriches their lives. I can’t agree with your points here more because I’m seeing them proved in my own home… great post

  2. sidney hupp says:

    Love you and Love this Blog post!! You have done an amazing job raising some really sweet boys!! Love y’all so much! I can’t believe Courtney is graduating!!!

    • LMB says:

      Oh Sidney! It’s SO good to hear from you!! Thanks for your comment and compliment. What an encouragement. Yes – Courtney graduates next December. It’s impossible to imagine. How time flies! I hope you and Danny are doing well. Love you! 🙂

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