Tag Archives: parenting

Raising Boys to Manhood – Real Men Lead Courageously

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I’ve noticed something lately. There’s a vacuum of great leadership in our culture.

Single Mommas (and parents in general), It’s more important than ever to be intentional about developing your son into a courageous leader. His courageous leadership will benefit his future home/family, business, church, and community.

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Your son has so much potential. He needs to understand that:

  1. God has designed and destined him for leadership. Help him see himself as leadership material. (Genesis 1:26-30; Genesis 2:15, 18; 1 Corinthians 11:3)
  2. Authentic leadership will require him to have the courage to master his passions/emotions (self-control) and strengthen himself with Biblical principles.

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From Robert Lewis’ book, Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father’s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood, . . . Manhood Principle #3 is this: 

A Real Man Leads Courageously

A courageous leader is not like Adam . . .

Adam was a passive leader. God had actually given Adam the instructions not to eat fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil before Eve was even created. (Genesis 2:16-18) He knew the drill. When Satan tempted Eve to eat the apple, Adam relinquished his leadership when he refused to reinforce God’s instructions and lead his wife away from temptation and disobedience. When he failed to lead her, he failed to protect her. Genesis 3:9-12

Many men today are failing to lead well – or even lead at all. They’re giving in to the feelings of the moment instead of aggressively leading with God’s truth. Honestly, I believe this is one of the predominant reasons our culture is crumbling on so many levels.

Jesus was a different kind of leader . . .

He went against the culture to stand for what was right and true. When he was led into a harsh desert environment for 40 days and consumed with hunger, thirst, and exhaustion, he did not give in to Satan’s temptation. His physical needs could easily have caused him to do so, but his will was resolute. He mastered his feelings and stood on scriptural principles. In a commanding cry of authentic leadership, he cried out, “Away from me, Satan!” Nowhere was mastery of his feelings more evident than when he hung on the cross in agony. He had the power to escape, but he chose not to.

Read James 4:7 and Romans 12:1-2 together.

  1. Talk to your son about ways he can draw near to God the Father – because God will equip your son for leadership. (Knowing God’s heart by studying the Bible, meditating on scripture, enjoying God’s presence through prayer, listening to worship music, spending time in His creation outdoors, going to church, serving the poor, going on a mission trip . . .)
  2. Ask your son if he can think of a time when he allowed his feelings and emotions get the best of him. What were the results?
  3. Talk with your son about times when it would be appropriate for him to commandingly say, “Away from me Satan.” Discuss how he can resist the devil. (i.e., Walking away from situations where peers are getting caught up in the moment and doing stupid things, etc.)

Leadership does not give anyone license to abuse power and authority for personal benefit or domination. A great leader is a servant.

Read John 13:1-14 and/or Philippians 2:3-11. Talk to your son about the qualities of a servant leader.

  • They work in the best interests of others.
  • They shepherd, defend, guide, protect, and serve.

Finish by asking your son to think of some men who lead (or led) courageously. (i.e., William Wallace, Abraham Lincoln, William Wilberforce, Martin Luther King, King David, Joshua of the Bible, Abraham, Noah, Moses, etc.) How did their leadership impact those around them?

Keep pointing your son to Jesus as his example – and for the empowerment necessary to lead courageously.

If you want to check out other posts in this series, click this link:

Single Moms – Raising Boys to Manhood

You can do this Momma . . . Keep pressing on. Your boys are worth fighting for.

Lisa~

Raising Boys to Manhood-Real Men Accept Responsibility

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Hi there! Last week in my Single Mom’s Saturday Series, I posted about Manhood Principle #1-Rejecting Passivity.

This week I thought about that a lot. Sometimes as Moms we can be a little overprotective of our kids – even when we’re not overprotective parents. For instance, our oldest son has a heart defect. He had heart surgery and struggled with severe allergies and asthma when he was young. He had ear tubes, stitches in his head once, and broke both bones in his lower leg while skiing one year.

At one point when he was in high school, I realized that all those experiences had caused me to be too “gentle” with him. I needed to help him embrace “strength.” This may sound a little weird, but one summer I decided to have him intentionally focus on the aspect of “strength.”

I had him study verses in the Bible that had to do with strength. I had him watch movies with men who were courageous and strong . . . movies like Braveheart, The Patriot, and Gladiator. When it came to social and spiritual responsibility, these men were anything but passive. We talked about strength and the men who demonstrate it.

That summer I began to treat my son more like a man.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: As you teach your boys to reject passivity, be sure you’re allowing them to embrace strength as a man. No more coddling and babying.

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Copyright: Lisa@TheWarmingHouse

Okay . . . this week let’s look at Manhood Principle #2: A Real Man Accepts Responsibility.

God, the Father gave God, the Son (Jesus) three distinct responsibilities.

Jesus was entrusted with:

  • A will to obey (His Father’s)
  • A work to do (Redeeming the lost.)
  • A “woman” to love (The church is referred to as “the bride” of Christ. The church is his “woman” to love.)

How did Jesus embrace his responsibilities?

A) Read Hebrews 10:5-7 with your son.

Discuss: Adam rejected God’s will. He said “no” to God’s instructions. How is Jesus different? What does this verse reveal about his heart regarding the responsibilities God had given him?

B) Have your son look up John 4:34 and read it out loud.

Discuss: Explain to your son that in this passage, Jesus and HIs disciples had been working hard all day. The disciples were concerned about Jesus’ health. He hadn’t eaten all day so they brought him food. He refused their food and spoke the words in John 4:34. What was his priority and the driving force of His life?

C) Jesus allowed the responsibilities God had given Him to define His life as a man.

  • Those responsibilities gave him vision and direction.
  • He pursued them energetically and aggressively.
  • As he embraced those responsibilities, he experienced tremendous satisfaction. Fulfilling those God-given responsibilities nourished him like “food”.

God has given your son the same responsibilities.

  • A will to obey [Choosing to obey God's general will that is revealed in the Scriptures - and also choosing to obey God's specific will - his unique purpose and plan for your son's individual life. Note: God's specific will never contradicts His general will.]
  • A work to do [We live in a society where many of our young people have an entitlement mentality. A work to do is important - as is rejecting passivity. (Manhood Principle #1 - Rejecting Passivity)]
  • A woman to love (his wife)

Ask your son if he’s willing to embrace these responsibilities? Why or why not?

Memorize Manhood Principle #2: A Real Man Accepts Responsibility

“Men assume social responsibility most naturally and effectively when 1) it is clear to them that the primary responsibility for the well-being of others rests on them; and 2) when they have been trained from an early age by the men in their lives to recognize and assume that responsibility faithfully.” Stephen Clark in Raising a Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis. (Material in this post is from this book.)

How can you, as a mom, begin to train your son for these responsibilities now?

Thanks so much for making time to be here. I know you have a choice about where you spend your day. I appreciate you sharing your time with me. Please come again. You are most welcome here.

Lisa~ 

Share the love! If you know someone who might want to see this post, just click one of the buttons below to pass it along. If you’d like to make sure you don’t miss a post, click the subscribe button at the top right side of this page. Would love to have you stick around! As always . . . I’ll leave the light on for you! 

Raising Boys to Manhood – Manhood Principle #1 – Rejecting Passivity

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Hi friend! Thanks for stopping in. Make yourself right at home!

Back in November I started a Saturday series for single moms to help them raise their boys to manhood. In December, I had a little hiccup. I haven’t posted in that series for quite a while. Things happen you know.

In my last post in this series, I contrasted the manhood of Adam and Jesus. Every man draws his masculinity from one of these.

I also outlined the principles of authentic manhood, and left you with a promise to share more about principle #1 in an upcoming post.

Today I’m taking a break from my prayer series to keep my promise to single moms.

If you need a review, check out my previous posts:

Single Moms Saturday Series

Single Moms – Raising Boys to Manhood

How Our Culture is Failing Our Boys in Their Quest to Become Men

Single Moms – Giving Your Sons a Definition of Manhood

swinging into water

Principle #1

A Real Man Rejects Passivity

 According to Robert Lewis in his book Raising a Modern-Day Knight:

1) Every male has an innate physical and psychological aggressiveness to initiate, explore, and achieve. If you have boys in your home, you know what I mean. My boys grew up teasing, wrestling, throwing balls, and constantly doing things to bug each other. I can still remember the day one of our boys packed his stuff in a little bandana, tied it to a stick, slung it over his shoulder, and left the house for a great adventure. (Ask your son if (and how) he can relate to this statement about a male’s aggressiveness.)

2) Unfortunately, this part of a man’s nature is not translated into homes, families, and communities.

A) Talk to your son about the example of Adam.

In the garden of Eden, God gave Adam explicit responsibilities:

  • A will to obey (don’t eat the fruit)
  • A work to do (cultivate the garden)
  • A woman to love (Eve)

When Satan tempted Eve, Adam was with her as she contemplated what to do. God had given Adam instructions not to eat from that tree before Eve was even created.

Ask your son what he thinks Adam should have done – and why.

B) From the book, Raising a Modern-Day Knight:

Read and discuss the following quotes with your son(s).

“As naturally aggressive as Adam was, when the moment of authentic manhood arrived – when he was called upon to act responsibly, take charge spiritually, and protect his woman – Adam just stood there! He went flat. He became passive. He refused to accept the social and spiritual responsibilities entrusted to him by God.”

Adam and Eve both disobeyed God’s instructions and ate from the forbidden tree.

3) Our culture has been drastically impacted by the passivity in men today.

From Raising a Modern-Day Knight:

“Families cry out for men who will do more than “tune out” when they come home from work. Kids want dads who are involved, dads who provide moral and spiritual direction, dads who are affirming and life-giving. Women want men who will protect them, not use them. Society needs men who will stand for moral absolutes.”

Discuss: Talk to your son about how he can be involved with his family one day and why that’s important. Talk about ways he can stand for what’s right in the world. What does that look like? In the lunchroom when a student eats alone everyday, at school when someone’s being bullied, at a party when others are drinking, at home with his responsibilities, at church when help is needed . . .

4) Jesus gives us the perfect example of manhood as God intends.

“More manhood was displayed in the manger than in the garden with Adam.” Robert Lewis

In the manger, Jesus rejected His divine right as God, initiated toward the world as a man, and accepted social and spiritual responsibility for mankind.

Have your son look up Philippians 2:5-8 and read it out loud. Discuss how Jesus rejected passivity. Ask your son if he’ll commit to rejecting it in his life.

Real manhood begins with a decision to reject social and spiritual passivity when doing nothing is the more comfortable and natural option.

We can help our boys channel their physical and psychological aggression into social and spiritual action for the good of all.

Have your son memorize manhood principle #1: A real man rejects passivity

What do you think about this principle? How would a rejection of passivity help our society as a whole?

Lisa~ 

Share the love! If you know someone who might want to see this post, just click one of the buttons below to pass it along. If you’d like to make sure you don’t miss a post, click the subscribe button at the top right side of this page. Would love to have you stick around! As always . . . I’ll leave the light on for you!