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Single Moms – Raising Boys to Manhood

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Hi all! It’s time for my Single Moms Saturday Series – Raising Boys to Manhood.

Single Moms Saturday Series

Last night we had 13 boys and their leaders stay overnight at our house. (We’re a host home for a youth retreat.) As those testosterone-laden boys converged on our home, I was reminded how unique and wonderful the male gender is . . . boisterous, bold, competitive, physical, constantly moving, and human vacuums when it comes to food.

Males have unique abilities and purposes that I celebrate, but many are struggling to figure out what those are and how to live them out. They’re wondering if they have what it takes to be a man.

In his book, Fathered by God – Learning What Your Dad Could Never Teach You, John Eldredge states that a boy only becomes a man through the active intervention of his father and the fellowship of men. Boys crave the presence, attention, and delight of their fathers.

Single Moms Raising Boys to Manhood

Robert Lewis, in his book, Raising a Modern-Day Knight, teaches that boys desperately need a road map for life. When Dad is absent, boys begin to drift. Every son needs from his father vision, direction, and solid answers to:

  1. What is a man?
  2. What are a man’s responsibilities?
  3. What does a man believe?
  4. How does a man behave?
  5. What should a man try to achieve?

But what happens when Dad is not engaged? When he is not interested? When he has moved on?

What is the church doing to help fill the gap? Most of our local churches today teach, preach, and minister in terms of traditional family. That’s important because it’s God’s design for us. It’s the life he desires for us.

But there’s a void. Over half of the families in our nation are led by single parents. Statistics show that very few churches have anyone on staff dedicated to ministering to the needs of single-parent families. So who’s ministering to their needs? Are their needs even recognized? This concerns me.

As a child who grew up in a single parent home, I know the wounds, needs, and struggles that are unique to single-parent families. Christians have a responsibility to recognize these precious families and reach out to them with the same love and grace God has shown all of us. God yearns for us to do this on his behalf.

That’s why I’m doing this series. In this series, I’ll be sharing insight from some “experts” like Robert Lewis (Raising a Modern-Day Knight). I’ve studied the material and will give you my “Cliff notes.”

While this isn’t the ideal way to train your son(s), it’s better for them to get this training from someone – even if it is from mom – than from no one at all. Wouldn’t you agree?

What I want to leave you with today is this – as an imperfect mother who’s guilty of many parenting blunders, I can tell you with deep conviction:

God knows our hearts. When we give the best we have on any given day and trust God, HE fills the gaps where we fall short.

God knows what you’re up against. He knows you can’t do it alone. That’s why he came to earth. That’s why his son died for you. He’s on your side and wants to be a father to your children in a way their daddies never could. Make sure your boys know this.

“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6:18

“In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will . . .” Ephesians 1:5

This week, ask your sons the questions I listed above to get them thinking. Note their responses. Tell them you’re going to try to help them find answers.

What concerns do you have for your boys as a single mom?

Thanks for spending time with me here at The Warming House. I’ll leave the light on for your return.

Because families are worth fighting for . . .

Lisa~

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7 Comments

  1. Carey says:

    Great start Lisa! I like the starter list of questions. I’d add (from my own experience growing up) that every boy is also asking, “Am I competent or capable?” and he’s looking mainly to his dad to answer that. If dad is checked out, mom can still answer the question for him, but she has to be intentional about it! Good post.

  2. […] This is the third post in my series helping single moms raise their sons to manhood. For the first two posts click here and here. […]

  3. StacyJ says:

    As a single mom for nearly 14 years, I needed to be reminded again tonight that God is a father to the fatherless and pray that He will help me help my teenage boys learn their identity in Him and their value and worth to Him. And I pray the Church will wake up and let God use Her to be that father to the fatherless. I practically begged 3 different youth pastors at the church I attended for years to open their eyes to this need but to their shame, it was ignored. Our country is in a crisis of fatherlessness and the church could really make a difference.

    • LMB says:

      Stacy, I hope you find my comment. For some reason it didn’t show up in my dashboard. I just stumbled upon it. So sorry I missed it. I’m also sorry to hear how the youth pastors at your church have overlooked this desperate need. You’re right – our country is in a crisis of fatherlessness. I have just lifted a prayer for you and your boys. I know God sees your family and loves your boys dearly. Keep pointing them to Christ. And know that you have renewed my desire to write on this topic. I’ll get back to it again after Easter. In the meantime, I’d like to encourage you in your journey as a momma. What you’re doing is making a difference whether you realize it or not. :)

  4. […] coffee or hot tea and settle in with me for the second post in my Single Moms Saturday Series. In last week’s post I shared that every son needs vision, direction, and solid answers from his dad about what it […]

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