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Raising Boys to Manhood-Real Men Accept Responsibility

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Hi there! Last week in my Single Mom’s Saturday Series, I posted about Manhood Principle #1-Rejecting Passivity.

This week I thought about that a lot. Sometimes as Moms we can be a little overprotective of our kids – even when we’re not overprotective parents. For instance, our oldest son has a heart defect. He had heart surgery and struggled with severe allergies and asthma when he was young. He had ear tubes, stitches in his head once, and broke both bones in his lower leg while skiing one year.

At one point when he was in high school, I realized that all those experiences had caused me to be too “gentle” with him. I needed to help him embrace “strength.” This may sound a little weird, but one summer I decided to have him intentionally focus on the aspect of “strength.”

I had him study verses in the Bible that had to do with strength. I had him watch movies with men who were courageous and strong . . . movies like Braveheart, The Patriot, and Gladiator. When it came to social and spiritual responsibility, these men were anything but passive. We talked about strength and the men who demonstrate it.

That summer I began to treat my son more like a man.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: As you teach your boys to reject passivity, be sure you’re allowing them to embrace strength as a man. No more coddling and babying.


Copyright: Lisa@TheWarmingHouse

Okay . . . this week let’s look at Manhood Principle #2: A Real Man Accepts Responsibility.

God, the Father gave God, the Son (Jesus) three distinct responsibilities.

Jesus was entrusted with:

  • A will to obey (His Father’s)
  • A work to do (Redeeming the lost.)
  • A “woman” to love (The church is referred to as “the bride” of Christ. The church is his “woman” to love.)

How did Jesus embrace his responsibilities?

A) Read Hebrews 10:5-7 with your son.

Discuss: Adam rejected God’s will. He said “no” to God’s instructions. How is Jesus different? What does this verse reveal about his heart regarding the responsibilities God had given him?

B) Have your son look up John 4:34 and read it out loud.

Discuss: Explain to your son that in this passage, Jesus and HIs disciples had been working hard all day. The disciples were concerned about Jesus’ health. He hadn’t eaten all day so they brought him food. He refused their food and spoke the words in John 4:34. What was his priority and the driving force of His life?

C) Jesus allowed the responsibilities God had given Him to define His life as a man.

  • Those responsibilities gave him vision and direction.
  • He pursued them energetically and aggressively.
  • As he embraced those responsibilities, he experienced tremendous satisfaction. Fulfilling those God-given responsibilities nourished him like “food”.

God has given your son the same responsibilities.

  • A will to obey [Choosing to obey God’s general will that is revealed in the Scriptures – and also choosing to obey God’s specific will – his unique purpose and plan for your son’s individual life. Note: God’s specific will never contradicts His general will.]
  • A work to do [We live in a society where many of our young people have an entitlement mentality. A work to do is important – as is rejecting passivity. (Manhood Principle #1 – Rejecting Passivity)]
  • A woman to love (his wife)

Ask your son if he’s willing to embrace these responsibilities? Why or why not?

Memorize Manhood Principle #2: A Real Man Accepts Responsibility

“Men assume social responsibility most naturally and effectively when 1) it is clear to them that the primary responsibility for the well-being of others rests on them; and 2) when they have been trained from an early age by the men in their lives to recognize and assume that responsibility faithfully.” Stephen Clark in Raising a Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis. (Material in this post is from this book.)

How can you, as a mom, begin to train your son for these responsibilities now?

Thanks so much for making time to be here. I know you have a choice about where you spend your day. I appreciate you sharing your time with me. Please come again. You are most welcome here.


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  1. Carey says:

    I think this is a great post Lisa… and the order you placed these in is perfect. The will to obey has to come first. Real manhood requires a submission to God before anything else – and it’s there that a man is able to truly know what God has for him to do in the other two areas. I’d love to hear your thoughts about teaching our boys to walk faithfully with God in the MIDST OF those responsibilities, once they’ve taken them on. Too often men shy away through comfort-giving diversions… maybe a future post?

    • LMB says:

      Carey – thanks for visiting and commenting. Certainly appreciate your thoughts and wisdom. Truly submission and surrender are the keys. Submission in an abiding relationship. . . walking faithfully in midst of those responsibilities . . . Yes – that would make for a good future post. 🙂

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